Friday, 29 July 2011

Lovely Day Out. I won't hear different.

So... had a lovely day out yesterday to celebrate passing my end of year exam! (Faint cheers off...) Here is my story of Our Day Out.

It started badly when I came up with the spontaneous, impulsive idea that we would all go and pick up my results together, and then go to a lovely estate with beautiful gardens (and adventure playground) near to my Uni. Funnily enough, it wasn't aspie #1 or aspie #2 who had a problem with my spontaneous idea, it was DH, who immediately claimed to have half a dozen urgent domestic tasks which WOULD NOT WAIT till the afternoon. Strange, as I have never seen him complete any domestic task with any sense of urgency. Or at all. He rarely gets more than half way through any domestic task.

Having used some canny emotional blackmail on him, managed to get everyone in the car, and off to Uni. Got my result, with Pippi sitting on my lap (A15 if you're interested), and on my return to the car, announced it to the rest of the family, expecting rapturous applause. Which did not occur. DH still being sulky about being forced to have fun for the day. A bit of a row ensued, mainly me shouting at him and threatening divorce (under my breath). I know. I'm a bad wife and a worse mum some days.

In my defence, getting a great result doesn't immediately get rid of the stress involved in picking them up.
Still, we continued on to the gardens. I think Lucas had about 3 meltdowns during the course of the afternoon, and Pippi had one. DH and I had a showdown about the cost of getting in, and then called a truce. Lucas also got lost at one point,while I was taking Pippi for a walk to look at the roses, and was running around screaming DH's name, until I intercepted him quite by accident (not yet knowing he was lost), as he was heading for the exit.

Am I crazy to say that I had a wonderful time, and have the most amazing memories of that day? We all did our best, the kids did have a fantastic time on the adventure playground, we had a race round the maze, (the kids won), we had a lovely lunch with no rows, and everybody ate something. The weather was beautiful. I remember how much fun we had together, and how good we all are at looking after each other when things are going south.

Is ridiculous optimism another facet of autism? I seem to remember reading that somewhere....

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Stress Management for Aspies.

So...have managed to relax a bit finally, it's been a super stressful year and a half, thank god it's coming to an end. First year of Uni now pretty much finished, and I've done well!

Mentioned to husband the other day that next year is supposed to be worse than this year. Same amount of coursework, and an anatomy and physiology exam on top. He looked dismayed. He said 'What???' I take that to mean I have not been the easiest person to live with lately. That's probably an understatement. Even my mum has commented on my stress levels, and we don't do emotions.

Have been taking some Valium overnight in the last week, to ease the muscles in my jaw. It works great, but it's not a longterm solution, as my GP pointed out. She suggested SSRIs, and I pointed out that there's no way I could sustain a midwifery course through cotton wool brain.

So I'm back to stress/anxiety management. I had a massage last week, and another booked for next week. Bliss. So nice to have somebody else forcing me to relax, as it's not a strength of mine. I know what I need to do, once my exam is over this week, I have promised myself (and the dog) that I'm going to start walking her at least 3 times a week. I have completely stopped exercising, and in fact once in the house, feel almost glued to the sofa, paralysed with some kind of fear.

Hoping to overcome the paralysing fear of whatever it is I'm afraid of. Don't know how successful that's going to be, maybe the counselling will help me to work it out. And I need to pick up that knitting again.

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Kids and name-calling.

So... my gorgeous little girl has been upset the last couple of days, not wanting to go to school, crying when she gets home.

I hate it when this happens. The only response I really have is to keep her out of school. DH tells me that all the kids are shattered, between it being end of summer term and everything. He does most of the school pickups because I'm working long hours with my midwifery course. But it wouldn't occur to him to check in with the teacher, because he's always looking for the answer that will normalise Pippi, and make her not different. I'm going to drop Lucas in tomorrow and ask to talk to Pippi's teacher, see if we can work out what's been going on.

She did tell me something about being called 'loser'. My heart positively breaks when I hear stuff like that. But then she told me that she had called another girl that first. I don't know what's gone on, but I suspect that she's beginning to realise that she is different from the other kids, and her efforts to fit in aren't always successful. Her language has come on loads in her first year at school, but unfortunately her comprehension hasn't caught up with it, so I feel that the gap between the two has expanded.

But there is good news, her sports day was sort of non-competitive this year, and all the kids got different medals depending on how many points they'd gained during PE sessions. Pippi got a proper medal, and insists on wearing it at all times!!  I got a photo of her in mid-air giving a high five to her relay partner, hair blowing in the wind...

Good times!