Sunday, 30 October 2011

Am I there yet?.... Acceptance

So...the kids were diagnosed 2 weeks apart, 15 months ago, am I starting to come to terms with it yet?

Looking back over the last year or so, I can see a clear pattern of coping behaviour, starting with obsessive research into all aspects of autism,  turning into depression and denial, and followed by frustration and anger. I just realised that I'm describing the stages of grief!  I keep forgetting that I'm going through a grieving process. Hang on, just going to google to see what I'm in for next.

OK, good news, I still have bargaining and acceptance to come. To be honest, I think acceptance may still be some way off, and I fully expect to be meeting some of the other stages again before long. I certainly got frustrated with my husband again this week, as he continues to completely deny that there's anything different between our kids and the kids they go to school with. I think he believes they've both been falsely diagnosed. But they don't talk to him about their feelings of being left out at school, and of having nobody to play with.

Loneliness is another feeling I have to cope with, but fortunately I have some lovely friends, and lovely tweeple who understand, because they are in the same or similar situation.

That's as far as the kids go, as for my own autistic nature, have I come to an acceptance of who I am? I hope that I am well on my way, I love being who I am, and while I have challenges every day to overcome, I am helped by my special abilities, and my humanity.

I have found a new vocation in midwifery, and it suits me down to the ground, which makes me very lucky!

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there, it's hard when one half of the relationship doesn't believe.

    In fact, I've been there, done that and been the unbeliever. My kids were just like ME at that age!

    ... then I found out that I was an aspie.

    You and your kids are no different for having the label. Your partner doesn't have to actually "believe" in order to help them but he does need to let the school and IEP process do what's necessary.