Addicted to books - Hyperlexia

So... i've been thinking about the ways in which autism has affected my life, and the way I look at my life.

At the age of 3, I leaned over my father's shoulder, and began to read the Telegraph out loud. Nobody had taught me to read, I had just figured it out for myself. I believe this is called hyperlexia.  I became a voracious reader. Among my early favourites, were Anne of Green Gables, not surprisingly, as I was an adopted girl with decided opinions, who just didn't seem to fit in, kept dropping things, and getting into trouble for speaking my mind. I loved Enid Blyton, especially the Famous Five, and the Naughtiest Girl in School (see previous). Once I reached the age of 10 or so, the supply of interesting books for my age range dried up, it not being a popular demographic with publishers at the time. I then proceeded to read my way through the library, and my mother's book collection, my father not being a great reader. My mother was fond of historical novels, of the more serious variety, Jean Plaidy rather than Georgette Heyer. She bought quite a few Reader's Digest Concise Collections, as they were good value for money, and leather-bound, looking well on the bookshelf. She bought many works from the Reader's Digest Book Club, all in hardback, and she has them all to this day.  By the age of 11, I had read most of Dickens, all of Austen and Bronte, Thackeray, Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, etc.

Rarely without a book in my hand, I saw school as an interruption to my reading activities, and did my work as quickly as possible so that I could carry on reading. I did not have many friends. To be honest, I didn't miss them. What I wanted was information and advice on LIFE. I struggled to understand what was expected of me in different social situations, or to comprehend the motivations of other people, the Novel was the answer to all my questions, as it allowed access to the stream of consciousness of other minds, and a glimpse into motivations, and social expectations and mores from different eras. It also asked nothing of me, and allowed me to drift into a dream-like state.

I came to understand the emotions of those around me through the medium of the written word, and by direct learning rather than intuition. However, it was a theoretical understanding until I reached my thirties, and went for counselling, which allowed me to identify my own emotions for the first time in my life. (But that's another post.)

I still love to read, it is less of an addiction now, but provides enormous solace when the outside world becomes annoying.

Aspie mum of aspie kids - does it make it easier?

So... just to say up front, I'm not competing for who's got it worst or easiest! That seems to be kind of pointless. But today was the first time that it occurred to me that it might actually be an advantage to have Aspergers if you have kids who are aspies too.

I know every mum gets that feeling sometimes that only they truly understand their child, and nobody else will really 'get' them in the same way. It's why mothers in law have such a bad reputation! I was just thinking today about the ways in which I empathise with Lucas and Pippi. My daughter is 6, but she has significant language delays, and since she started school it's been really hard to know what's going on there, and how she is dealing with it. She doesn't have anything like the language to tell us anything about what happens during the day. We might hear a sentence about one or other child, rarely the same one twice.

She's started wetting the bed lately, despite being dry for the last 3 years, and she's been getting really upset over small things, and then telling us tantalisingly incoherent stories about things that have upset her in school. I feel for her, it's so hard to see her suffering and not to know exactly what's affecting her.

I remember my own experiences of primary school. I'm sure that I was happy a lot of the time, but I remember clearly being different from the other kids, and not understanding what it was about me that was causing problems. Even at that age, the other girls had comparatively sophisticated social understanding that I was completely lacking. I spent most of the time back then either reading, thinking about my favourite books, or imagining myself in my favourite books. I did the academic work in double quick time, with the aim of being allowed to read for the rest of the lesson. I was very quiet, and nervous of the other kids.

But Pippi isn't like that. When I see her around her school friends, she is boisterous, and full of life, jumping around, talking nonsense. She seems to fit in just fine, but then I hear one of them calling her a 'baby', and I know that they have noticed that she doesn't talk like they do, or understand the complexities of their game playing. I suspect that she is starting to feel different from them.

But does my own experience make it easier? Can I find a way to use it to help her? I suppose the answer right now is, I don't know. I think that the emotional side of things is key. I want her to grow up to be a well-adjusted, happy aspie, with a grounded knowledge of what she is capable of, given the right support.  Realistically, all I can do at the moment, is to keep the school posted about things at home, keep those lines of communication open. And prioritise Pippi's emotional wellbeing, make her feel safe, listen to her when she's upset, convey to her that her feelings are important, and she is valued, loved and understood.

Extra cuddles. That I can do.