So... my new counsellor made me really mad yesterday. She pointed out that my diagnosis (or not) of Aspergers is not the main issue, as I come across as normal, in comparison with the rest of the flawed public out there.
I think she doesn't want me to obsess over the Aspergers. She may well have a point - see all previous blog posts. But that's where I'm at right now, and telling me to get past it is kind of missing the point.
It's not willingly that I'm undergoing this big reassessment of my personal history, my daily behaviour, my adequacy as a parent (see next blog post). It's like a compulsion I suppose. I'm an analytical person anyway, that's just how my brain works. If something changes the entire way I have seen myself for my whole lifetime, then I'm going to have to spend some time working it all out. Let's call it a hobby! (read 'special interest')
I suppose I do have a sensitivity around the whole self-diagnosis thing, it's the first time I've told a professional about this. It's the first time that I've thought that getting a diagnosis might actually be useful. Her point was that I need to find ways to manage the real anxiety that I'm feeling, which is clearly true. Rather than ratchet up the anxiety worrying about my Aspergian nature. Let's face it, she doesn't know me very well yet.
Was there ever anything less useful than being told 'Don't worry'?